A Future for me

As I look towards the future I remember what is inside. A dark place within me that I try so hard to hide. I know I can’t remove it but I push it deeper down. I put on a smile and do my best to never frown. Each day it is easier to hide the hurt within, and to forget about the sorrow buried deep in sin. I sit up in my bed and I think of things to do. Things that keep me present and that keep me close to you. And with each that passes without fear doubt or shame, I get a little further from the person who was insane. I collect all my memories that shine a light onto my path, and lock away the horrors that have formed a seed of wrath. Your eyes they give me hope and your smile removes my fears and each day it gets easier to forget about the tears. I can’t wait to wake each morning and see your loving face. It fills my heart with love and I don’t think about that place. The place that is buried deep inside my soul, is now nothing more than an empty little hole. I fill it up with love and one day it will be gone and I will be complete again and have a brighter dawn. I hold onto this truth to forge a brand new way and the excitement builds within me knowing it gets fuller everyday. To be whole inside again helps me to hold on and I will not give up on it until I’m dead and gone. You push me to be better than I ever was before and you found the key that saved me and helped me lock the door. The door that if I opened could destroy me bit by bit, is now no longer threatening me because it does not fit. There’s no room left inside me and I owe it all to you and the determination you had to help and get me through. So as I look towards the future it is your face that I see. A face that saved my life and turned me back to me.

Hopefully you enjoyed this poem. It’s dedicated to my husband Sean whom I love and cherish most.