New beginnings

Okay so I’m at the starting point of our next move and I’m already beginning to get stressed out. Not only do we have to find a new home by no later than April but with all that aside there’s so much more I have to do that makes me anxious just thinking about it. I’m talking about the things you have to consider when you have a serious mental illness such as Schizoaffective disorder bipolar type. Things like finding a new doctor. Now I know what you are probably thinking but for me that task is more daunting than it is for most normal people. I have lots of paranoia about doctors and I don’t trust very many people so the thought of learning to trust someone new right off the bat is very unnatural. I love the doctors I currently see and I really haven’t had great results until I found them. So trying to convince myself that I will find someone equally great is very difficult. I was living with paranoid delusions and horrible manic and depressive episodes for 10 years until I started working with my current doctors . I was completely out of touch with reality until they began treating me, and that is not something I want to go through again. The mere thought of trying to find a new doctor has me incapable of normal everyday function. I shut down completely because of the inability to accept the changes that are inevitably going to happen whether I want it to or not. I have so much to do to prepare for the physical move yet I’m paralyzed mentally because of my illness and having to work with a new doctor. It might sound crazy to most people but for me it’s very real. All I can do is try to get through this move and deal with everything else when I get to our new place but overcoming this fear is going to take everything I’ve got. Wish me luck!

Right now I can’t but hopefully soon I will
All I can do is trust, breathe.@writerdaisysunshine82

2 thoughts on “New beginnings

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  1. This is very true for me as well. Moving is not my favorite thing. When I moved from the first floor to an upstairs apartment i had the irrational fear that the floor would cave in every night for the first few months all my routines were thrown off I gave up running because of depression but after a while it felt like home. I am very happy in my home today. Thank you for posting! Great post!

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    1. Thanks for reading and commenting on my blog I love to hear from my readers about how they relate to my story. I am glad you are happy in your home now and hope you have started running again it’s great for fighting depression even though it’s really hard to do. Please keep reading and commenting I love the interaction. Thanks again!
      -SCHIZ N GIGGLES

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