I can feel the edges curve upwards on my cheeks.
A feeling at first not recognized for its not normal for me .
It’s been more than a decade since I’ve truly felt this way.
At first it scared me as mania and I’m not sure what to say.
But I realize I am not dreaming the feelings I felt inside.
For my smile is usually covering a different feeling I’m trying to hide.
I worry it won’t last long and will slowly slip away .
But unless I am just dreaming I’m feeling more than just ok.
For once I feel true joy and gratitude wells up in me.
Happiness fills my heart and soul and left a smile for all to see.
Even if it’s for a little while I am so thankful I have this time.
Without the darkness swallowing my soul and filling it with grime.
A simple unexpected smile has given me so much hope.
I don’t care what might happen or even if I look like a dope.
I will cherish the time forever no matter how long this feeling lasts.
Forgetting all my suffering from my illness in the past.
I will wake up each day and thank Heaven for the chance
To feel something normal inside even if it’s just a glance.